Things I Refuse To Do On My Birthday (But Probably Will Anyway)

1. Fold laundry
2. Empty the dishwasher
3. Take out the trash, recycling, diaper pails, etc.
4. Worry about calories
5. Cook dinner
6. Tell anyone who might sing to me that it is my birthday
7. Listen to kid music in the car
8. Feel and/or complain about being old

I also don't remember authorizing rain on my birthday. Any idea who I can speak with about that?