May 30, 2011


Sometimes I think that everything about being a parent is awful.

You become a parent and suddenly life is all runny noses and dirty diapers and temper tantrums. From the moment your child is born, life requires weighty decisions that will affect them for the rest of their lives, from what to name them to what to feed them to where they'll go to school. And then, despite your best intentions and hard work, and regardless of what decisions you make, you are judged on those decisions, by others and by yourself.

And sometimes, in the middle of the night, when you are sick and just need some rest, your child will wake up. And he'll be so tired that he can't control himself, kicking and screaming and biting, and just wanting to be back to sleep. But his body or his brain won't let him. And it will be the biggest heartbreak you can imagine and also the biggest frustration.

And then that same child will lie in bed next to you and he will take your hand. He'll lace his fingers through yours and even if just for a minute, he will be calm. And even though you know the chaos hasn't ended for good, in that moment your heart will swell with a love you never knew possible.

And you wouldn't want to change a thing.

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