Moe's sleep issues seem to have returned as quickly as they left. I should rephrase that - the issues never really left, but with the start of the school year, Moe has been more tired and sleeping through the night more consistently. But over the last week or so, Moe has been waking up again in the middle of the night. I'm sure it is related to his other regulation issues which have also been worse lately.
This time is a little different from last time. He used to wake up giddy, giggling and jumping. He was a little manic, but didn't seem unhappy. These past few times Moe has been screaming. He's inconsolable, crying and pushing us away. It is painful to watch, but there seems to be very little we can do to help him in this state. A couple times, we've brought him to the living room to try to settle him down and as soon as we're not holding him, he runs as fast as he can back to his crib. I've started to wonder if he's having night terrors. Whatever the case, he's clearly exhausted and quite upset that he can't get back to sleep. The whole thing usually lasts about an hour before he's calm enough to fall back asleep.
Last night was especially bad because Jelly has been sick with a cold and waking up more easily. So when Moe finally settled down, Jelly woke up. And when she got back down, Moe was up again, this time back to his old laughing and jumping tricks. After the chaos died down, I sat down on the couch and had a little bit of a meltdown myself. I try not to let myself indulge in too much self-pity, especially when sleep-deprived, but last night was really hard. These night wakings, on top of the regulation issues Moe has started having both at home and at school, like needing to chew all the time, rocking on the rocking chair, and spinning in circles around the rug, are starting to get me pretty freaked out.
At one point last night, Jeff had Moe in his lap and we were trying to calm him with some deep pressure. Moe was kicking and squirming so hard that he head-butted me. I thought he busted my lip (he didn't). And that is when I started to wonder: If this is what Moe can be like when he's three, what happens when he's 5? Or 7, or 13? I try really hard not to "go there" and I didn't say anything to Jeff at the time, because it bothers him when I travel down that path. Things could be much, much better by then, or they could be worse. Nobody knows.
In the meantime, I've started looking into getting some additional in-home behavior and occupational therapy for Moe and to help me create some more structure and predictability at home.
If you're local to the San Jose area and have a great behaviorist, I'd love a referral! Feel free to contact me at wantapeanutblog[at]gmail[dot com], or DM me on Twitter @wantapeanut