The last time I took Moe with me to pick Jelly up from school, he had a major meltdown--the worst one ever. He pulled another child's hair, and I had to drag him, screaming and scratching, out to the car. The teachers were wonderful and helpful, but I was both broken and mortified after this incident. And so, so sad.
That was last summer, and I haven't taken Moe back to Jelly's school since. This incident was one of the primary reasons I have help in the afternoons. Our nanny picks Jelly up from school, or stays with Moe so I can get her.
But last week, our nanny was sick and Jeff couldn't get Jelly, so I took Moe. I didn't have a choice.
When Moe was a newborn, I, like all new mothers, had no idea how I was going to go about my day with this little baby. How would I go grocery shopping? What if he had to eat or be changed when I was out? I resolved that I would not be scared of my child. It sounded funny, but that is what I had to tell myself to get out of the house. I will not be scared. And that is how I did it. We tried new things. We went to the store and playdates and music classes and it was all okay.
But as I drove with Moe to Jelly's school last week, I was scared. I tried to tell myself not to waste any emotional energy on fear of what might happen. I told myself that Moe is a much different kid than he was last summer. Everything would be fine.
We got to school, and Jelly, of course, wanted to show me a million things. And Moe loves Jelly's school. He wanted to run around and see everything and generally wreak havoc. But he can't be trusted there, and so I have to hold his hand. He started to fuss and complain.
This is exactly how it started last time. Moe got mad that I was keeping him from playing and started to melt down. He was frustrated, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. This time, I knew enough to get out of there quickly. Jelly understood that she had to come with me, and we avoided a major incident. But it was close.
Moe has come a long way. He is learning to behave and communicate without aggression much of the time. But this is one situation that he is still not ready for.
I happened to stumble across your blog through Love That Max and I was was really encouraged by this particular post. My daughter has CP and the idea of respite care came up last week. I've been really struggling with the idea and yet your post helps me realize how important it could be for us. Thank you! You can read about it here if you'd like.