The last time I took Moe with me to pick Jelly up from school, he had a major meltdown--the worst one ever. He pulled another child's hair, and I had to drag him, screaming and scratching, out to the car. The teachers were wonderful and helpful, but I was both broken and mortified after this incident. And so, so sad.
That was last summer, and I haven't taken Moe back to Jelly's school since. This incident was one of the primary reasons I have help in the afternoons. Our nanny picks Jelly up from school, or stays with Moe so I can get her.
But last week, our nanny was sick and Jeff couldn't get Jelly, so I took Moe. I didn't have a choice.
When Moe was a newborn, I, like all new mothers, had no idea how I was going to go about my day with this little baby. How would I go grocery shopping? What if he had to eat or be changed when I was out? I resolved that I would not be scared of my child. It sounded funny, but that is what I had to tell myself to get out of the house. I will not be scared. And that is how I did it. We tried new things. We went to the store and playdates and music classes and it was all okay.
But as I drove with Moe to Jelly's school last week, I was scared. I tried to tell myself not to waste any emotional energy on fear of what might happen. I told myself that Moe is a much different kid than he was last summer. Everything would be fine.
We got to school, and Jelly, of course, wanted to show me a million things. And Moe loves Jelly's school. He wanted to run around and see everything and generally wreak havoc. But he can't be trusted there, and so I have to hold his hand. He started to fuss and complain.
This is exactly how it started last time. Moe got mad that I was keeping him from playing and started to melt down. He was frustrated, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. This time, I knew enough to get out of there quickly. Jelly understood that she had to come with me, and we avoided a major incident. But it was close.
Moe has come a long way. He is learning to behave and communicate without aggression much of the time. But this is one situation that he is still not ready for.