Anxious

In the English language, words often have multiple meanings. Take the word "anxious." There's anxious, like "anxiety." As in, "I'm anxious about my upcoming surgery." Then there's the anxiety that connotes a restless excitement, as in "I'm anxiously awaiting my upcoming trip to the Bahamas." (Or in my case, this week's episode of Mad Men.) This duality of meaning has never made much sense to me before. But right now, I get it.

We start Moe's in-home therapy session next week. His daily schedule looks like this:

8:00-10:00 Therapy Session 1
10:30-12:30 Therapy Session 2
12:30-3:30 Lunch, break, nap
3:30-5:30 Therapy Session 3 (some days)

Plus an extra session two days a week for OT and speech.

I'm anxious about having people coming in and out of the house all day. How will it impact us? I already cringe whenever the doorbell rings because our dog goes insane. Is it going to be like that every time or will she start to get used to it? Am I going to spend all day, corralling the damn dog to make sure she's out of the way?

I'm anxious about how hard Moe is going to be working. Will he still be the fun-loving kid he is now? Or will we somehow break his spirit? Are we doing the right thing pulling him out of the center based program he is finally used to? How will ever get to socialize with other kids?

I'm anxious about my own well being. I'm going to be stuck at home a lot. Will I ever get out? It is so much harder to run errands with both kids. What am I going to do at home all day long?

I realize I'm just dreading the unknown. Of course, we'll work everything out. I'm hiring a dog walker. Moe will still be himself, charming all of the therapists with his giggles. We'll go to playdates on lighter days and I'll find a hobby or two. Maybe start cooking things that take longer than 30 minutes.

Mostly, though, I'm anxious (the excited kind) to see all the wonderful progress I know Moe is going to make. As Moe's final report from the center said "He is moving in the right direction. Hooray for Moe!"